Are you new to the Stagehand world? Do you listen in on a conversation between two stagehands and feel like you're way outside of an inside joke? Well, here's a little peak at some of our trade & colloquial terms we often use and the true meaning behind it.
"Best Gig Ever!"
Worst gig ever!
"We only want to do this 'twice,' once!"
Let's first do it [producer's] way, then we'll do it the right way.
Black pants, black shirt, black shoes, and the entire right side of a stagehand's closet.
Black slacks, black button-up shirt, and the other side of a stagehand's closet.
Black slacks, black coat, black tie, all of which is commonly found balled-up in the stagehand's trunk.
The mammoth road case filled with every tool ever used, and every contraption ever devised, and every possible roll of tape, and food menus from every city ever visited. But really, the workbox is a 400 pound security blanket.
A box or road case full of random crap we couldn't fix in the Work Box.
One of the few tools we really ever use.
Left-handed [or Metric] C-Wrench
See "Flux Capacitor"
Also known as electrical tape, which is a pressure-sensitive, non-conductive insulating tape that's useful for binding looms, cable stress reliefs, identifying microphones, minor first aid, marking bad gear, fixing loose latches, dressing speaker stands, resealing lunch containers and holding open crash doors - and occasionally used for insulating cable.
A heavy cotton tape with strong adhesive and tensile properties, used for everything else.
One of the many fictitious pieces of gear that the veteran stagehands will send rookie stagehands in search of. Other such goose chases involve the Cable Stretcher, the Left-handed C Wrench, the Metric C Wrench and The Skyhook [editorial note: there is now such a thing as a Sky Hook]
I'm done listening to you.
I'm really done listening to you now.
Now I'm done talking to you too.
Aww Shit! [duck & cover]
Smoke break before lunch
Smoke break and a quick nap.
Smoke break and a snack cuz I slept through lunch
Chance to sneak out for a smoke before, during or immediately after a show.
"Make it safe"
Drop what you're doing, we're outta here!
30-min lunch period [on-the-clock] and a client-provided meal.
A means to bribe or coerce a stagehand into staying on-site [as very few lay faith in a stagehand returning from a walk-away meal on-time.
Some sort of sandwich, or unidentifiable wrap, thoughtlessly shoved into your hand during a talent rehearsal, load-in behind schedule, late-running shows or some other production schedule gone awry, to avoid the fearsome 'Lunch Penalty.'
It's that fairy tale creature that mommy & daddy producers tell their baby producers about, to scare them into eating their vegetables, making their bed and finishing their production schedules.
A show crew production run-thru meeting that hardly anyone pays attention to.
A show crew production run-thru rehearsal, where it becomes evident that no one paid attention during Paper Tech.
"Standing by to stand by"
Nobody has a clue what to do next.
"Show Crew To Headset"
"Client On Comm"
Client is listening, so pretend that's how it's supposed to look.
I hope nobody took offense to anything we wrote here. It's all in good fun.